It is possible that even in the eye of the storm we necessitate some discontent; it wouldn’t be the eye otherwise. At first the lull of lazy swells are a welcome break from constant torrents of tidal waves; although eventually everyone tires of sunbathing, leisurely sipping a beverage adorned with umbrella, and dipping toes into blue waters. Has anyone ever stopped to ask why? Bothering with sloshing otherwise still bathwater onto the floor of life to embitter, mold, and slip over seems exhausting to me.
I consider the metaphor while in the candlelight of my own bathroom- bubbles surrounding my skin whilst soaking in a hot tub of water. Outside snow is blowing about in the arms of invisible demons tormenting the uncovered faces of couples singles and children alike. The hour isn’t late but the chill struck bone so I’m attempting to thaw; having previously ambled.
While walking I witnessed a teenage couple hand in hand smiling and laughing- happy in their company. Until, of course, a phone indicated a message received and half the couple distanced themselves; a jovial stroll of lovers overpowered by annoyance of technology. It would have never lasted anyway. A family of three having lunch on the other side of a pane of glass laughed then shook their heads at their childs messy habits of eating. You would think adults would know by now a few years into parenthood what toddlers are prone to do with food dining out and home alike. Negative unyielding attitudes cause broken homes beginning with miniscule catastrophes. An elderly married couple that was enjoying coffee in a café upset each other over their companions’ choice in pastry. Such trivial details hardly seem worth grounds for displeasure over an entire affair.
I clear a spot centered in the masses of bubbles and peer through. The water retains some murk from soap but clearly I see the bottom- smooth, white, and unremarkable. My hand underwater I wave to myself- a friendly gesture from a pleasant place warm and without riptides- a safe place without risk and discontentment.
Happiness is the number one desire in life, correct? So why make it so difficult to attain because of behavioral misconduct? Wouldn’t it be something if people stopped getting irritable over the smallest of derailing? After all we aren’t trains that can’t handle imperfections upon our track. If people learned to balance instead of falling when traveling over rough terrain they would be happier for it. Situations come and go just as emotions do- the science is simple: Life is the longest thing you will ever do- Everything between birth and death is temporary. Unfortunately the human race expects just about everything to last forever; the best love, adrenalin rush, worst breakup, heartache, and so on without taking into account all aspects of the painting. A masterpiece isn’t created with a single hue; life isn’t about one moment.
The bubbles are slowly dissipating uncovering my skin and waters surface- baring my nakedness to the dim glow of candles flames. Bubbles are pleasant but so is the clearing of them signaling the end of my baths. I know that when I emerge from this water my muscles will no longer ache and the warmth will transfer from my skin to the clothes I don and I’ll walk out of the bathroom still hugged by the comfort I immersed myself in until my fingers and toes pruned. I rise out of the water towel dry and burrito myself in a robe exiting the bathroom.
Walking down the hall with the intention of slipping into bed for a nap, though I should be doing something of much greater importance, I become distracted. The window displays the scene of mid-February yet I hear thunder which is atypical for now. Meandering away from the bedroom doorway I peer out into the ebbing day. What I see is gray air and slow moving cars- then lightning. Moderately curious I press my cheek to the glass studying the sky- still cold, still there, still gray. What would Michigan be without a little unexplained weather? I retreat and follow through with my original plan of napping.
Lying in bed I consider this present period: my eye of the storm. I’m in bed during the afternoon while snow falls and lightning strikes after a solitary uneventful bath. I’ve been wasting time all day instead of doing the things I never seem to have the time for during a busy schedule that never seems to end. Anxiety produces waves that nudge my boat back towards stormy waters. There is much that needs doing and soon time will be against me once again so I remove myself from the mattress check the phone on the nightstand for messages then march towards the office to check emails.
The computer screen casts its harsh addictive glow over the desk keyboard and chair as I enter. Papers are strewn everywhere, the trash is overflowing with empty pens, and the chair is rickety on good days. This office is the semblance of a chaotic mind and unorganized hands. I sit, nearly splintering the chair, taking pause before continuance. My mind clear of the fog produced by contentment I remember the fax to send, call to make- four calls to make, emails needing replies, and documents typed. I was happy procrastinating until the time became nearly too late to do all business-esk chores before the day ends. Sighing I lean back despite the protest in the chair.
I suppose that life is just too boring for the average human when presented with ease. Through living we are conflict. People won’t allow themselves to be gratified in mind, body, spirit, or their own accomplishments. Never satisfied with their peers choices, dress, media, and influence. Humans are forever reaching for the next thing that will make them happy; not once considering the last thing that made them feel gratified. Perhaps this universal character flaw could be considered a species strength; without conflict there would be no relatable music, entrancing movies, or riveting stories. As exhausting and damning as it is variance and discord are necessary to our race. Nobodies’ eyes will ever line up perfectly- that at least keeps life interesting.